I Apologize to Those Retraumatized

Our look at the face of gender inequality in the world has reawakened in some people memories of being raped and in other ways abusively treated.

I’m not suggesting a flood of emails. That isn’t so. But our approach is that behind each email are probably one or two dozen people who didn’t write in but have the same thought.

How and why did I create that? Kathleen would ask.

I can only plead ignorance. I didn’t go in to the week thinking that would result.

Even at the IRB, as good and comprehensive as their training was, I was never trained to look into the consequences of communicating what I had heard about – torture, executions, sexual slavery, the list is endless. It was never envisioned that we might be talking about it. But I am.

I’ve learned from this experience.

In past years, I’d seen the effects on women of all manner of (primarily sexual) abuse and domination. But I cannot have a woman’s experience and don’t have a woman’s GPS. I don’t even come close to knowing a woman’s experience.

I don’t know what it would take to communicate what’s happening to either men or women in the world in a manner that would not reactivate. (1)

As a man, I think I need to bow out of this phase of things and rejoin later, when hearing from men becomes relevant again. Others will need to take the lead.

I’ll concentrate on setting up and funding the Gender Equality Project. Even that, I’ll have to let develop free from a man’s oversight. Start it and then ease out at the right time.

To all who were re-traumatized, I cannot apologize deeply enough.  Namaste (I bow before the Self in you).

Footnotes

(1) After the Reval, we’ll be able to hire staff who do know a woman’s experience. And we’ll be able to section off discussions. We’ll get around the problems identified here. But without funds now, to cover this field sensitively is a bridge too far for me, as hectic as it is and as a man.

I hear Gabrielle in the back of my mind:

“My guidance, and more importantly the Mother’s guidance, although you will have the wherewithal [after the Reval] to proceed quickly and valiantly, is to start small. If you, tomorrow or next week, wake up and you say, ‘Okay, it’s a go and I am going to heal this very, very serious issue [of gender inequality],’ because it relates to what went wrong on the planet and you tackle the entire planet, sweet angels with the beloved hearts, you are going to feel overworked, overwhelmed, and that reference that the Mother keeps pointing to of the joy factor will dissipate very rapidly. So it is not that it is not an urgent problem; it is. But you also know that many upon your sweet, beautiful planet will be tackling this or a variation of this issue.

“We plead with you to start small.” (“Transcript ~ Archangel Gabrielle on AHWAA: Start Small, Recognizing the Magnitude of Gender Inequality, June 22, 2017,” at http://goldenageofgaia.com/2017/06/24/transcript-archangel-gabrielle-on-ahwaa-start-small-recognizing-the-magnitude-of-gender-inequality-june-22-2017/.)

I am rapidly getting smaller.

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